Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to by Mark Goulston M.D., Keith Ferrazzi

By Mark Goulston M.D., Keith Ferrazzi

The 1st make-or-break step in persuading somebody to do any factor is getting them to listen to you out. even if the individual is a harried colleague, a stressed-out consumer, or an insecure wife, issues will move from undesirable to worse if you cannot holiday via emotional barricades. Drawing on his adventure as a psychiatrist, company advisor, and trainer, and subsidized through the most recent clinical learn, writer Mark Goulston stocks basic yet energy ful thoughts readers can use to truly get via to people--whether they're coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, or enemies. Getting via is an exceptional paintings yet a serious one. With assistance from this groundbreaking booklet readers should be in a position to flip the "impossible" and "unreachable" humans of their lives into allies, dedicated shoppers, unswerving colleagues, and lifelong buddies.

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For now, however, let’s look at why the primitive brain can take over, canceling out all those centuries of evolution. The key: a region of the brain called the amygdala. ■ Amygdala Hijack and the Death of Rational Thought Your amygdala, a small area deep in your brain, flies into action if it senses a threat to you—for instance, if a stranger approaches you in a dark parking lot. This threat doesn’t always need to be physical; “fighting words,” a financial scare, or even a challenge to your ego can light it off as well.

Each would speak, present videotapes of sessions with patients, and then elicit comments, questions, and discussions. Right out of the gate, it was clear that the Canadian speaker was powerful, focused, hard driving, and easy to listen to. In contrast, the second psychiatrist, although equally clear, was calmer, low key, and British, and it took more effort to pay attention to him. 21 22 The Secret to Reaching Anyone But over the two days, a curious thing happened. The Canadian speaker launched into his presentations like a 747 zooming down the runway to takeoff.

Your brain has three layers that evolved over millions of years: a primitive reptile layer, a more evolved mammal layer, and a final primate layer. They all interconnect, but in effect they often act like three different brains—and they’re often at war with each other. Here’s how each of your three brains behaves: ■ ■ ■ The lower reptilian brain is the “fight-or-flight” part of your brain. This region of your brain is all about acting and reacting, without a lot of thinking going on. It can also leave you frozen in a perceived crisis—the “deer-in-the-headlights” response.

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