Love's Confusions by C. D. C. Reeve

By C. D. C. Reeve

Love's confusions are legion. We promise to like, yet we won't love at will. Love God, we are commanded, yet we can't love on command. And given the vicissitudes of self-love, no matter if lets love our friends as we like ourselves, wouldn't it be a superb factor to take action? those are many of the paradoxes that sometimes lead philosophers to oversimplify love--and that draw C. D. C. Reeve to discover it in all its complexity, trying to find the teachings to be came across inside love's confusions. starting from Plato, who wrote so eloquently at the topic, to writers as different as Shakespeare, Proust, Forster, Beckett, Huxley, Lawrence, and Larkin, Reeve brings the gigantic assets of Western literature and philosophy to endure at the query of affection. As he explores the origins of Western inspiration at the topic, he additionally turns to the origins of person experience--the courting of mom and baby, the template of all attainable diversifications of love--and to the perspectives of such theorists as Freud, Melanie Klein, and Carol Gilligan. whilst, he makes use of the tale of the prototypical absent father, Odysseus, to illustrate the significance of reconciling a hope for tenderness with a wish for energy if we're to utilize love's potentials. love in mild of the classical international and Christianity, and in its complicated courting with pornography, violence, sadomasochism, delusion, sentimentality, and jealousy, Reeve invitations us to imagine extra greatly approximately love, and to discover the confusions that necessarily end result to be inventive instead of demanding. (20050603)

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4 Sex can lead a lover to want to do such things. And if we don’t want to do them, it can lead her to try to get us to want to, to turn us on to what turns her on. And if she can’t, it can lead her to abandon us for someone else. It isn’t always easy to understand such wants or their peculiar importance and insistence. But sometimes in love—as in life more generally—we have to accept things we don’t understand. Tolerating the tolerable is easy. It is what we find intolerable that tests our tolerance.

But language is part of reality, not an isolated game of its own. It is by being included in reality that sounds like —the precursors of words—get their life. Language relates to the world because the world is where we language-users live. Inner-Daddy escapes from the child’s omnipotent control when it falls under the influence of the real Daddy and the child’s increasing ability to experience him perceptually. It is the same with the sound . When f ir st lov e and af t er 51 the child plays reality with it, he has to use it as others do, since he is playing with them and trying to coordinate his behavior with theirs.

Others see some of our actions; we see all of them—and our intentions, thoughts, feelings, and fantasies as well. Hence the apparently self-revelatory character of self-disgust and self-hatred. They seem too damning a response to the core self to be anything but authentic. Yet, as revelatory as self-disgust and self-hatred can be, they are no more so than the very different emotions characteristic of self-transcendence, of absorption in something or someone besides ourselves. What we can lose ourselves in shows as much about who we are as what we can’t stand being.

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